Lost Feelings
by xoxoEdward Elricxoxo
Summary: Sometimes in a relationship both parties find themselves feeling different than they once did but refuse to confront one another on said feelings, or lack there of, leading to more hurt.


**AN: Random AU one-shot time.**

* * *

I looked into Eren's eyes and that's when I realized what I may have felt for him before was fading. It was becoming a one sided relationship. Every day was the same. Get up. Spend most of the day alone waiting for Eren to get up. Talk to him for about five minutes and then watch as he hangs out with everyone but me. I didn't mind him getting up so late before. That was when he actually paid attention to me. _Lately though_.

He says he loves me. I believe him but I don't think he realizes how much it hurts to hear those words because lately he's been pushing me away. It's like I only exist for kisses and…_other things_. I could just be reading too far into things, I have a bad habit of doing so. But what if I'm not?

"Hey, Armin?"

I snapped back to reality. "O-oh. Sorry Eren!" I looked up and my heart sank at the sight of Mikasa. _That's right. He's with Jean. When did they get so close?_

"Are you feeling alright? You look awful."

I swallowed hard. No, I'm not okay. I'm losing the person that I love. Or maybe I've already lost him. I stopped feeling bad a long time ago after all, I've already reached the acceptance stage and we haven't even broken up. Isn't that something? "Yeah, I'm alright, Mikasa."

She didn't look totally convinced but she nodded anyways. Grabbing her bag she said, "Annie and I are going to the gym. I'll be back in back in about an hour." I waved at her. I didn't feel like doing much more. She hesitated closing the door but when she did I just curled up into a ball on my bunk.

Tears streamed down my face. I told myself I wouldn't cry anymore. Dammit. I told myself I would be strong from now on. Didn't I tell myself I had accepted it? I cursed at myself between every gasp, every squeak. Somewhere deep down I knew I wanted to fix things. Get things back to how they used to be. I'm sure he wants that too. But neither of us are doing what needs to be done. And the worst part is it doesn't seem to hurt him as much as it hurts me. He just brushes things off like they didn't happen. We get into arguments and he picks a fight with me over anything but when it comes to something serious like this it's not important enough to talk about?

_I really should give up…shouldn't I? _My thoughts wandered as I drifted into darkness.

"Armin. Armin wake up."

"Ngh?" My vision was blurry from waking up. When had I fallen asleep anyways? I looked towards the window as my vision cleared. Light was still streaming through the window but not much. The sun was setting. I looked back in front of me to Mikasa, who had a hint of worry on her face. "What is it?" She held up a photograph that cut me deeper than any blade. I gasped, clasping my hands around my mouth. "Mikasa…" I started. "Y-you took this? Saw it with your own eyes?"

She nodded slowly. "Annie did too. It happened while we were returning. I'm so sorry." She pulled me into a hug.

_Eren was cheating on me? With Jean of all people? I thought he hated Jean. _I felt sick. So he moved on too and just didn't say anything to spare me while I didn't say anything to spare him. How was I too blind to notice? Why didn't we just tell each other how we felt. My stomach churned. "M-Mikasa I—" I didn't have time to get my whole sentence out when I blew chunks all over her. Great. I broke down into tears. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I wailed.

She kept her stoic composure, I don't know how she does it, and patted me on the back. "Don't apologize, Armin. My idiot brother hurt you. You have nothing to apologize for."

I hiccupped. "He's not an idiot." I can't believe I'm still defending him. I guess if anything he did start out my best friend before lover. And I wasn't really mad at him. Hell, I was just thinking about how I moved on right? "He just…he should've told me he didn't feel it anymore; I would've understood."

I stood up prompting Mikasa to ask, "What are you doing?"

"Packing," I answered as calmly as I could, though my shaky voice betrayed me. "I'm sorry…I can't live here anymore. It'd be too awkward. I'm sure you understand."

She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. "You can't do that, where are you going to go?"

I sniffled. "Probably to live with my grandpa."

"Are you sure about this? I can talk to Eren."

I wanted to yell at her. But she didn't do anything wrong. She was just being wishful thinking Mikasa. _Motherly Mikasa_.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm sure."

She hugged me, forgetting about the vomit on our clothes. I should probably change first...

* * *

"Where's Armin?" Eren asked when he finally got home during the late night hours.

"Gone."

_That was a colder response than usual. _"What's up, sis?"

Mikasa shot her brother a glare. "You hurt him, Eren. Badly."

"What did I do this time?"

Mikasa stood up from the chair she sat in during her patient wait for Eren's arrival. She got in Eren's face, shooting him her famous death glare. He'd never gotten _the death glare._

"T-this isn't funny anymore, Mikasa."

"Do you honestly think everything right now is a joke? Armin is at his grandpa's house, probably crying his eyes out and you think this is a joke?"

"Armin is?"

"I saw you and Jean, Eren! And it was only right to let Armin know what I saw. I have a photo as evidence. He saw what Annie and I witnessed first hand; you and Jean making out in the open in broad daylight. How could you?"

Eren grew quiet and he fixed his gaze on the floor. "O-oh. You saw _that?"_

Mikasa ground her teeth. "Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"What more do you want me to say? The cat's out of the bag! I still care for Armin, honestly, but Jean. Well I might've hated him at first but we've been talking so much lately and I realized he's a really cool guy. Our personalities kind of work better, ya know?"

Mikasa rubbed her temples. "You know, Eren," She said. "If you really cared you'd go to his grandpa's and at least apologize. Make things right."

Eren groaned. She was right. He was acting like an asshole and she made him realize it. The least he owed Armin was an apology. Even if he meant to break up with him but didn't have the heart, Eren still cheated on Armin. And that had to have hurt.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. Who could it be this late at night?

My grandpa was the one who answered the door. "Oh, he's up in his room settling in. He won't tell me what happened, though. I'm sorry, I didn't quite get your name. Ah a fine one you have, Eren Jaeger. A pleasure. And you're a friend of Armin's? Please come on in," When I heard that last bit my heart sank. This was the last thing I needed right now.

It wasn't long before grandpa was in my room. "You have a visitor, son."

I took a deep breath. I guess I'd have to face the music sometime. Guess it would be sooner rather than later. "I'll be right down."

I threw on my favorite fluffy sweater, a gift from my grandma. I always wore it when I needed some comforting. Now I could go down.

"Hey, Armin." I acknowledged him with a nod and he continued. "I'm really sorry about what happened today. And… well I'm not asking for you back. I've moved on and I want to date Jean now but—" God this boy sucked with apologies. "I wanted to ask for forgiveness. I should've told you that I'd moved on. I should've told you that I wanted the end of our relationship. I'm sorry, Armin."

I sighed. "Eren if you wanted to date Jean and you'd have told me, well I would've been okay with that. To be honest I haven't been entirely truthful either-

"You're seeing someone else too?"

"What? No. Shut up and let me finish," I said. "No, what I'm saying is I moved on a long time ago too. I should've ended it as I felt the spark fade. I'm sorry too." I stared at my own feet. "So…if that's it…"

Eren got the hint. Things were getting awkward fast. "So then…this is goodbye."

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna miss you. I still care. Just, as a friend. Maybe even a brother."

"Don't say things like that it's cheesy and a little creepy." I managed a chuckle.

He laughed lightly. "Yeah I guess I should listen to ya. Well," He held out a fist. "This is goodbye but not forever I hope, I'd still like for you to be my best friend."

I hesitated. Well, before we dated we were best friends. That's when everything was great. Maybe it's a good thing that we move on. Maybe now we'll have our old bond. Dare I say maybe we were never meant to be more than friends? I bumped fists with him. "Yeah, I'll see ya around." We grinned at each other for a couple of seconds before he left. My heart was beating fast. It was time to start a new chapter of my life.

* * *

**Bonus: **_What's with all this sappy stuff? My grandson is gay? That Eren boy cheated on him? He better be lucky I misplaced my cane._


End file.
